On Being Offended

One of my favorite phrases in the editorials that pop up in my conservative campus's daily newspaper is "I'm offended." Although I do believe that the things these people find offensive are simply hilarious, the greatest joy I get out of the phrase is the idea that being offended is a bad thing. I take absolute delight in being offended. This probably explains how I can survive going to an über-conservative school and how I can live with the knowledge that my own father is quite decidedly on the chauvinist/racist side. I take such delight in being offended, in fact, that I go to lengths to collect things that just kill me. One of my most prized possessions is a book I picked up at DI one day (that is the Provo equivalent to Salvation Army, for those unfamiliar with the many pleasures of DI): The Secret Power of Femininity: the Art of Attracting, Winning and Keeping the Right Man for You. You can't tell me that even just the title isn't enough to send you into spasms of pleasantly offended giggles. I do believe that I will periodically punctuate this blog with passages from this, my favorite offensive book. There is something pleasing about finding something so completely contrary to everything you believe and hold dear. Every time I face offensive things or people, my blood gets pumping and I know that I am truly alive. Perhaps it is simply the thrill of a rush of superiority in the face of something so inanely outlandish, but I really think there must be more to it. Maybe something to do with defining oneself negatively in terms of the Other. Maybe all I am is an exact negative, a concave mold of the things I hate. This sounds like a Montaigne essay--I'll do my best to seek it out, and, if it does exist, I'll post it (copyright gods willing). So there you have it--my motivation and gimmick for keeping a blog. Welcome.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Behold, Your Little Ones



Speaking of defining oneself negatively, I thought these were particularly flagrant examples. I found them at Baby's R Us when we were picking something up for my sister-in-law. Really, what better way to start of your child's life than with some hard core gender stereotyping and indoctrination?
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Practical Advice for Everyday Life

What better way to start off my offensive blog than with a bit from The Good Book?

1 Timothy 2
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

1 Corinthians 14

34 Let your awomen keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to bspeak; but cthey are commanded to be under dobedience, as also saith the law.
35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to aspeak in the church.

I'm sure you're definitely sensing a theme among the things that offend me. Yes, anit-feminist items are particularly delightful unto me. There are so many things that I love about these verses. Number one being that since Adam "was not deceived," he (and therefore all beings with a penis) is morally superior for willfully choosing "sin." Going by Paul's own logic, if the Fall was indeed a sin, then it would appear that Eve is less to blame--she was deceived, while Adam knowingly sinned. Of course, I also think that Paul's base premise is quite offensive.

Finally, my favorite part about these scriptures is their implications for anyone who says we should take the Bible literally and apply it to government/morality now. I mean really, if you want to kill homosexuals as per Bible instructions, you'd better not be female, because if you are voicing this in public and/or church, you'd better be ready to be stoned yourself--according to Paul, this "talking" thing is better left to your husband.
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